What Vulcans Hide
by Cinn
Summary: T'Pols p.o.v. What's she's hiding. FINISHED.
1. The original part, and the prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with enterprise. But I do own this fic, and the abilities to watch it on T.V.

Cinn: My first star trek fic, probably the only one, and it's not going to be a one shot, anymore, but I'd love to know what you think.

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T'Pol's p.o.v. What's she's hiding.

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I may seem emotionless, but underneath, I have as much emotions as humans. 

He's different; he's not like the rest of them. He tries to be more Vulcan, he tries to hide his true feelings, but I can still read them as clear as anything. Especially when it has something to do with another planet.

He's different, he sticks out to me. Something in him, it makes me feel, different. I don't know why. He treats me as a human, one of his kind, the others don't treat me like one of them. They treat me different. The high council warned me about this, they warned me I'd get attached to one of them. I'm, Vulcans, aren't supposed to get attached to people. Archer once said I'd picked up some human habits, from being among them; I'm starting to believe him. Maybe that's why I've become "attached" to him. He appears to feel the same for me. After I made him apologize for Porthose urinating on that tree, or was it just before that, he said something about attachments; I said they were forbidden between the two of us.

Why did I have to say that? Was it just to stop him doing something that was forbidden in Starfleet? Now I think I've stopped him doing something that we both could have wanted. If I talked to someone it'd get out, or I could talk to him. No, I wouldn't be able to stop him then, but do I want to?

No, wanting to is irrelevant to Vulcans, tradition comes first, it's wrong. Wrong for change to happen, tradition comes first. Vulcans don't "mix" with humans. Humans don't "mix" with Vulcans. Or aren't_supposed_ to, but humans can fall for any race, any species, any_one_. But not Vulcans, Vulcans aren't supposed to fall for anyone, attachments are irrelevant. They allow us to do irrational things, sometimes wrong things. But sometimes even the right thing. So complicated, I'm not believing my Vulcan teachings any more. That's not right, the teaching _are_ right, Vulcan emotions are dangerous.

Why am I thinking so much about this, it's my knowledge that humans call something like this love? I don't know what it is. All I know is for me it's wrong, no for Vulcans it's wrong, for me its right. But I'm going to have to hide it, it's my nature, but I'm not sure I want to. It feels right, but I don't want to disappoint the high council, they'll reassign me if they think I'm attached to any of my crew.

What to do?

End log.

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Cinn: Please review, I want to know what you think of my first trekky fic. Open to flames, nice, or weird reviews. OK I'm weird I know, but I want to know what you think. I'm used to writing matrix fic's, this is_totally_ different. Oh by the way if there's one word in capitals with no exclamation marks, it's supposed to be in italics. 


	2. I'm bored and feel like continuing

Cinn: Yo, moi again. I seem to have been getting a lot of flames for this fic. Well I want to just point out something about the decon, they use it to check the crew for bacteria and diseases from the planet so the rest of the crew ain't gonna catch it! And the decon gel is for getting rid of bacteria, or something like that, NOT something that is used to show affection! And in case you haven't noticed they ALL rub gel over each other! Right got that out of my system, I've wanted to say that for a while. But because you nearly all left anonymous flames I couldn't tell you till I updated. And also, all Archer/T'pol fics make T'Pol human, and then what do tucker/T'pol fics do to her then? And I'm not saying she's human, I'm saying she's slightly more human than she was, and she HAS been picking up human habits. Well I rest my case, I'll warn you next time so you don't have to read it. Here's the fic. Oh some things you may need to know, thoughts "speech" obvious? Probably, but I like to be clear, but most of it's T'Pol's pov anyway, so it'll be someone else's thought's I'll be doing in these probably in speech commas.

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T'Pol's pov, what's she's hiding. Might I add this is set during a battle on Enterprise. Starting off the fic.

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3 days later...

Stop doing that I'm fine! Why does he keep looking round every time something happens over at this station! And not all the others! This is getting annoying! I know we're in a battle, but I DO know how to look after myself!

" Hull plating's off line!"

"Repolarise it then!"

"Sir, the ship has ceased fire."

"What?"

"The ship has ceased firing."

"I heard the first time, I meant why?"

"If you do not say what you mean how am I to know what you mean? And I do not know WHY."

"Whatever, Sub-commander." He paused, "Hail them."

"Channel open, sir"

"Alien vessel, this is Captain Jonathan Archer of the starship enterprise. We would like to know why you started firing on us..."

They don't normally respond kindly to that, they normally start firing again.

"Captain, they're recharging weapons!"

"Hold tight! Try to get the hull plating back on-line!"

"Captain, may I try talking to them? I know what language they speak, and how to stop them."

"Sure Sub-commander."

As I moved over to Hoshi's station the rest of the bridge crew started trying to make some sort of protection, like getting the hull plating on-line again.

"Ensign, open a channel to the Therdorian ship."

"The what?"

"The alien ship."

"Oh, right. Channel open."

I started speaking in Vulcan, Hoshi nodded at nearly every word, she's good at Vulcan, I know she'll feel a bit, untrusted, about me not telling her what to say, but it's easier and quicker this way.

"They've discharged they're weapons."

"Nice work Sub-commander."

"All you need is to know what they do, the high council helps this race, so they'll respond if they know a Vulcan is on board the ship, their sensors just tell them how many life forms are on board, not which is which species or culture."

"So you only had to tell them a lot of nonsense and they stop?"

"Commander, Vulcan is not nonsense; I just had to speak in Vulcan telling them that the high council was, well partly to do with the ship."

"Still nonsense."

"Trip... Anyway T'Pol the high command has nothing to do with this ship. "

"I'll remember that next time you need assistance, Captain."

"She's got a point Capt'n."

"Alright, I stand corrected! Sub-commander, may I speak to you in my ready room."

"Alright."

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Cinn: I am continuing, but I felt like leaving this chappie there. I thank all you reviewers (inc. flamers) so far. Yes I did thank the flamers, I know what you think of this fic, people shouldn't be afraid of telling others what they think, and if they have an account, hey should log in to flame and review. Please review again, if you have any queries, comments or helpful tips, or helpful ideas. I have most of this fic planned out, but all idea's welcome. And this isn't part of her of entry, only if it says "end log" afterwards it's a log entry.


	3. Ready Room talk, and we aren

Cinn: Yo, this isn't a set up fic, well some might class it as that, but I don't. Well, next chappie. Brackets'll just be my "helpful" comments. Ignore 'em. I have strange urges to sometimes comment at random places in my fics.

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T'Pol's pov, what she's hiding. Ready room talk.

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He was angry, I don't know why. But he looked it, and I had that slight feeling, I'd be in for a lecture.

"You knew how to stop that ship."

"Yes Capitan."

"Then why didn't you straight away, and further more why didn't you say what ship it was."

"Well, I couldn't stop them when they were in the middle of firing because they never listen when they've got going. And I was going to, only something exploded behind me which got my attention."

"Right. Well you could've told me after that console blew. "

"What difference would it have made?"

"It could've helped save the crew."

"The crew is still alive."

"Barely, if you'd have told us then we could've used the universal translator..."

"It had to be genuine Vulcan, they can tell the difference."

"Why didn't you get Hoshi to send the message?"

"Because I'd have had to tell her what to say, therefore having someone speaking engish in the background, this wouldn't convince them."

He was pacing again, an obvious sign that he was annoyed, and angry at me, again. He wasn't going to listen to me, even though he treats me different. I stand there waiting for him to tell me to go, but he doesn't, so I stand and look around his ready room. His ready room might as well be his quarters; his things are casually placed around the room. Even has a coffee machine. I was still thinking about this when he started speaking again.

"Next time I expect you to say something. And I don't believe you forgot. Vulcan don't forget things, do they?"

He's being sarcastic now, one human thing I don't understand, along with most others.

"Vulcans don't forget. And I will. Can I go now?"

"Yes, if you've fully examined my ready room."

He was smiling now; I do wish he'd stop watching me.

"I was merely seeing how tidy you kept you're ready room. I didn't see any problem in that."

"There isn't Sub-commander. But I'm expecting you to comment on that fact."

"Yes, you are right with that. It isn't very tidy. Humans aren't that big on keeping their rooms that tidy."

"Some more than others."

He smiled again. Don't know why.

"Yes. I agree some keep their quarters tidier than others."

I left after agreeing with him, only to find that the Therdorian ship had begun another attack.

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Cinn: Want more? Review.


	4. Second battle, is THIS the end? Nope

Cinn: You wanted more, you got more.

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T'Pol's pov, what she's hiding. Another Therdorian battle.

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"I thought you said you'd stopped them from doing this!"

"They obviously don't take orders from their usual leaders. They're probably rebels."

"A little late to find out now!"

The comm. station blew, and I went over to check Hoshi.

"Plating at 70!"

"Comm.'s down. And we need a medical team up here!" I yelled to no one in particular.

"Bridge to sick bay, we need medical help up here!"

"On my way captian."

I lay ensign Sato down where she was less likely to get even more hurt, and went back to the sceince station. Only to have the Captain watch me, I kept looking up to try and tell him that it was annoying and distracting, but every time our eyes locked something in me just didn't want to say so. I went on checking the Therdorian ship to find its weak spot, every ship has one, it's just a matter of finding it.

Got it.

"Lock sensors on their right warp na-sel, the very end of it."

"OK"

Then it happened, a reasonably large explosion behind me sent me flying over the science station. Knocking me unconscious for a brief period of time. I woke in the captains arms propped up against the science station; he was practically on top of me, invading my personal space. He was looking deeply into my eyes, the look he gave me told me the Therdorian ship had been disarmed, and enterprise had took no serious damage. I was about to get up but before I could he bent down and kissed me.

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Cinn: Very short, if you want to know the end of it, then review telling me any faults, and any queries. Or just what you think of it. And the end'll be soon coming.


	5. What is logical when it comes to emotion

Cinn: Last chapter, my shortest fic yet. And for once, no very happy ending, but it's not a very sad one either, sorta in between. Oh well, here's the chapter. And I'd like to point out, though it may seem a pairing fic, it isn't really. It's just getting them both to accept their feelings, but if you read the prepared a/n after this chappie, you'll_hopefully_ forgive me for leading you on.

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T'Pol's pov; what she's hiding. What's logical, and what's not.

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I didn't push him off me when he kissed me, but I didn't kiss back either, I waited until he'd finished before standing. He looked like I'd hit him with something heavy.

After our shifts that day, he came down to my quarters to speak to me.

"T'Pol did I offend you before?"

"No captain, you did not."

"Then what did I do wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just not how I expect the Captain of a ship to behave."

"But there was nothing wrong?"

"That depends on how you define wrong."

"Well then..."

He did it again, he kissed me again, but with a difference this time, he tried to push me down onto my bunk. I pushed him away and he put that look on again, the one that made me feel a tiny bit guilty. Humans never will understand Vulcans if this is how they behave.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong Captain."

"Then why are you not letting me continue?"

"Because a relationship between the two of us is not allowed."

"But that doesn't mean we can't have one."

"No, it means we have to not give in to our feelings and not do anything personal or too intimate."

"But you want this to."

"Yes, I do. But if we did proceed, then there would be a lot more complications than you think."

"Name one."

"Starfleet will disapprove, as will the high council. And I'll be reassigned "

"OK"

He looked hurt again, well he's human, not Vulcan. Must remember that – which I _do_ most of the time.

"Well, now we've sorted that out, good night captain."

"You know T'Pol; off duty you can call me Jonathan, or Archer or something apart from Captian."

"One thing you must learn about being a Captain is that you're never off duty as long as you're on your ship."

"Right. I'll try and stick to that then."

He left after that. I don't think that he'll try to pursue our relationship again. I don't know whether I'm sad or happy about that. But I'm thankful he's not, otherwise I'd be reassigned, which meant never seeing him again. Or any of the crew for that matter, they're my, well, closest friends.

End log.

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Cinn: Liked? Well that's it, might do another fic, dunno. You might have to try and convince me. No I'm joking; I'll probably just stick to scrapheap matrix thingy. Or a few one shots might come about. Don't have a clue. But then again, when do I? Well actually, something else. The thing I've wanted to do, just never had a fic that I've been able to do with. I'm gonna write a sequel. Called "What's Logical, when it comes to emotion?"


End file.
